I know that making the choice to have a more intimate wedding is not always easy. If I were to plan my wedding again, I would have a very hard time cutting down the guest list. My immediate family alone has 31 people not to mention cousins, friends, and co-workers which brought our guest list to well over 100. So how does an intimate wedding happen? How does a guest list get to under 85, to 25 or to 14? Furthermore, what is a realistic budget for a small wedding? What are the disadvantages to it? And where do you have it?
Guest List: This is by far the most complicated aspect of planning an elopement. I've seen couples only invite their parents and siblings while other couples also invite a select amount of close family and friends. The best thing to do as a couple is to sit down with each other and come up with a number of guests that you both feel comfortable with. Is 20 too many? Is 5 too little? Is there a person or two on your side that is a total shoe-in? Like a mom or a dad? No matter what you choose, please remember that most people will still be able to see your wedding photos and oftentimes, that will be enough because they will be able to see just how beautiful and important your intimate celebration was even if they weren't there.
Budget: To stay within your budget, try to keep everything as low-key as possible and only splurge on the things that are most important to you. While there is no set cost to elope, most couples spend $5,000-$15,000, far less than the national average of $33,000 for a traditional wedding. Below is a list of the things you MIGHT choose to spend money on for your elopement day and some points to consider for each.
Marriage License: This elopement cost is one of the few non-negotiables but fortunately it’s negligible (less than $50 USD typically).
Wedding Permit: To be allowed to wed in a national park, for example, you will need to organize and pay for a permit in advance. Every park is different, but you can expect to pay $50-200 for this. A wedding at Arches National Park in Utah, for example, costs $185 for a ‘special use permit’. Pretty cheap for a wedding venue really!
Travel and Accommodations: Are you eloping super close to home, or do you need to factor items like flights and car hire into your budget? Are you going to spend the night somewhere for your elopement?
Venue: Most of my couples are pretty happy with ‘the great outdoors’ as their venue! But maybe you want a cute Airbnb to get ready in, or perhaps you want to rent out a space at your favorite brewery to hold a little reception for friends and family? This particular bride opted to have her father/daughter first look at their nearby hotel room which was so intimate and memorable to say the least.
It also didn't hurt having somewhere warm and comfortable to get ready at before their nuptials which took place high in the Utah mountains during the fall season.
Food and Drink: Do you want to organize a celebratory champagne toast (or some great craft beers if that’s more your thing!).Is a cake in the ‘not necessary’ or ‘MUST have’ column?! Would you like a sit-down dinner? Maybe a private chef?
Attire + Accessories: Do you and your partner want new dresses/suits/jumpsuits or are you happy to wear something you already own? Would you consider second-hand, saving the planet AND your budget? Do you want haute couture or super simple?
Flowers: Are florals important to you? Be aware if you’re getting married somewhere like a national park, there may be rules on what types of flowers you’re allowed to bring in. I can advise on this!
Rings: Most couples opt for rings, but you certainly don’t HAVE to. Maybe you’d rather just swap gifts, or maybe you’re more the ‘ring tattoos’ kind of people. Remember, it’s YOUR choice. If you do want a ring, you’ve got a ton of choices: precious metals, wood, even silicone!
Hair and Makeup: Are you happy to do your own styling for your elopement (we’re all about the wild and free look!) or would you like a pro to pamper you on your big day? Will they come to your Airbnb while you get ready, or do you need them to hike to the top of a mountain with you?
Photographer and/or Videographer: Obviously, we’re biased – we deeply BELIEVE in what we do – but we can't stress to you enough the importance of hiring a reliable and trustworthy photographer/videographer team. Your day will whizz by quicker than you thought possible, and we will capture all the moments and vibes you want to remember forever.
Now, let's get down the nitty-gritty. Disadvantages.
Disapproving Opinions: Your relationships are important to you, and sadly, some of those relationships may be strained by your choice to elope. Friends may be jealous you have chosen such a stellar way to get married while some family may be upset that they didn’t make the tiny guest list. However, it is likely tensions will cease as your loved ones are given time to process your decision. The pros and cons of eloping depend wildly on your ability to communicate well and take the pressure off if friends and family aren’t as excited as you are at first.
Etiquette Confusion: Eloping has a lot of perks like flexibility, personalization, mental peace, stellar views, and giving an authentic-to-you wedding experience. It does, however, cause confusion over parts of the wedding and engagement process. We get a lot of questions from eloping couples over events such as showers, bridal party trips, and other traditional expectations placed on them. Some eloping families sadly do not shower them with gifts because they feel it’s weird if they’re not actually coming to the wedding. However, a lot of eloping couples are at a point in their lives and career where they are settled and do not need house gifts or awkward parties with their great aunt Glenda. It depends upon your needs. Some eloping couples do still receive gifts, send elopement announcements, and so much more so that their experience is similar to that of a traditional wedding while carrying all the perks of an elopement as well.
If you’re planning some sort of destination/intimate wedding, please give yourself a day or two off after you say, "I do." It’s nice to lay low and enjoy each other's company after all is said and done. Also, just because your day is ‘simple’ doesn’t mean you can’t prioritize what is important to you and allow yourself to spend more money as you see fit. As a photographer myself, photography was one of our top priorities. It’s memories that generations to come are going to see and we knew we wanted to capture our day in all it’s glory.
Take a look at some more wedding photos below taken at the Church of Dirt and Guardsman Pass in Utah, just outside of Park City. Could this be the elopement destination you've been dreaming of?
And by far one of the most interesting aspects of the Church of Dirt is how you book your reservation. There is no number to call, no person to talk to. You simply go to the pile of reservations that are already there to make sure your date isn't listed, and from there you write your date down on something that will stand up to the test-of-time and cross your fingers and hope for the best when your day arrives. You'll see some couples opted to write their date down on a piece of paper and store it in a Ziplock bag while others chose to write their date on a rock with a waterproof marker. This is an area where you could get very creative. I always thought it would be neat if someone had their date burnt into a piece of wood. Ultimately, weddings that take place at the Church of Dirt are only for the highly adventurous couples who are dead set on eloping come wind, rain, or shine. And if you happen to live out of state and hire me to shoot your elopement at this location, I would be more than happy to drive up there and put your name down.
Comments