As a wedding photographer who has photographed hundreds of weddings over her career, I know a thing or two about wedding vows. But nothing touches my heart more than when a couple shares their vows privately.
Alexis and Karent were married on July 30th, 2023, at Eldredge Manor in Bountiful, UT. My favorite part of the day...after sharing a sweet first look, was the moment these two shared the most heart-warming private vows. You could easily see the love these two have, and how much they keep each other laughing all the time!
The moment that touched my heart the most was when Karent was overcome with emotion while reading her vows and Alexis encouraged her to keep going by saying, "You got this. You got this." He did this several times during their private reading and it shows how supportive they are of each other.
So, if you're here reading this blog, you've probably already pondered the question, "Should we share our vows privately?" The first thing to understand is, there is no right way or wrong way to share your vows. You can share your vows privately if you like or you can shout it from the rooftops in front of your closest friends and family. Heck, you could forgo vows altogether, if you so choose. But one thing is for sure, no matter what you choose, you'll be doing it with your life-partner by side.
The first thing to consider is, as individuals, how open are you with your emotions? Are you someone who puts it all out there or are you someone who likes to play it closer to the vest? What about your partner? Is he/she/they the same way or do you two have opposing views on the matter? If you're on the fence about what to choose, consider these positive aspects of sharing your vows privately:
If you’re shy and not much of a public speaker, it might be easier to say what you truly want to say if fewer eyes are upon you.
You can be candid with your partner and say whatever you like. It doesn’t have to be poetry; just speak from the heart. There is no need to censor yourself.
It is a moment that the two of you will remember in an intimate way. Chances are that the rest of the day will be filled with people and commotion; the vows may be your only private moment of the day.
You can take your time. If you’re crying, cry. If you’re laughing, laugh. There’s no need to cut things short and move on.
Those cute little vow books make for great photos. Just saying.
So should you share your wedding vows in private or at your ceremony? Ultimately, the choice to say your vows in public or in private is up to you. I’ve seen how meaningful it can be to share vows with your partner in front of the people who love you most, declaring to the world your commitment to them. But I also know some couples would prefer a more intimate moment.
Whatever you choose, I do hope you take the time to put your vows together thoughtfully and share them with one another on your wedding day.
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